Five Methods to Turbo-Boost Your Parenting Skills

The 'phone conversation had absolutely nothing at all to do with parenting - however it made me think . . .

'Hello, Eastbank Football Club. Can I help you?'

'Good morning, may I speak with the Assistant Coach, please?'

'Oh, I'm sorry. He's still on vacation.'

'I see. Is anyone on the coaching staff there?'

'No, they're all away right now. The club's closed for another week yet. I'm only the Groundsman.'

'Well, thank you anyway. And hey, why say you are only the Groundsman? If it wasn't for you, there wouldn't be a football club. They'd have nowhere to play!'

(Pause) 'Yeah, I'd never really thought of it like that. (Laughter) Thanks a lot, pal, you have made my day!'

So often we do ourselves down, do not we? We devalue our own contribution or service.

"I'm only a shop assistant!"

"I'm only a . . . " (fill in the blank!)

Occasionally we even hear women say: "I'm just a housewife"!

Confidence and self-esteem are frequently in brief supply these days. And nowhere more so than in PARENTING!

Even those who are optimally self-confident in their work or social conditions, frequently teeter on the edge with regards to their parenting abilities.

Why?

Is it some thing to do with the breakdown in old-fashioned values and concepts of authority; the widening gulf between kids and their parents; the dangers we as parents are so really aware of, but that are gently ignored by our kids? Regardless of the causes, there is a great deal you can do to enhance things. Dr Norman Vincent Peale, author of The Power Of Positive Thinking, used to advise individuals to sit down and write out a list of all their assets and abilities. However Dr Peale's next suggestion is crucial. Once the list of assets and abilities has been written, he tells us to raise the stakes.

Simply Think that you are at the very least 10% better than you think. It is now extensively acknowledged in contemporary psychology that you'll still be way off the mark! So have faith. You are a whole lot better than you think.

Secondly, do some study. You probably weren't taught parenting abilities at school or college, yet parenting is the most important contribution to society. There are plenty of books, courses, tapes, CDs and videos on parenting.

No excuses! Grab some and get occupied. Knowledge and insight bring confidence. No matter what stage you're at, you are able to improve yourself

. Thirdly, learn to temper your reaction in demanding parenting scenarios. Easier said than done! But you can make a conscious effort to remain calm and help remind yourself of Dr Peale's advice (You are more capable than you believe you're!), and you can put into practice what you have been studying about family dynamics.

A fourth method to boost your parenting abilities would be to build yourself in some way. Yes, keep in mind those piano lessons you as soon as took, or that art class you attended? Interests such as these are great tension relievers and they develop self- confidence - which is important for parenting. In the event you feel you are already confident in other matters, but it's only in parenting you feel a lack, why not take up some activity with your kids? Studying together brings you together, and could be great fun

! Finally, resist any kind of temptation to go it on your own. Nature intended us to be social creatures. Seek guidance from grandparents, relatives, pals. Overcome your pride. Talk about your parenting challenges with others and draw on the communal strength. And d'you know what? You will discover you are not the only one. Let's work on parenting together, as a community.

Confident parents raise confident kids.

Take action now. In the event you do absolutely nothing, you are able to anticipate more of the exact same old worry, tension, ill-feeling, etc. etc. Zap these negative trends once and for all. To give yourself a real boost, check out our web site. And why not join our free monthly e-zine, Family Features? To show our gratitude we'll send you a free six-day e-mail course titled A Step-By-Step Guide To Positive Parenting.


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